The Home-Improvement Chronicles: Insurance Fail

I had a hell of a time renewing my homeowner’s insurance policy this year. After three years of living in Highland Park in my house on a hill and no insurance problems, I was found out. The problem: my deck.

Admittedly, the deck does suck. It’s old and rickety and ugly. It’s endured years of damage by water, termites and dry rot. But thanks to gravity, it’s still upright and fairly secure (though I wouldn’t invite 20 people to stand on it at once). And when an insurance adjuster came out for a completely unrelated issue many months ago, she didn’t want to stand on it at all, and put the black mark of death on my record.

Consequently, I was dropped from my insurer and had to scramble to find new coverage, which I ultimately did. The problem: The new coverage sucks despite costing the same as coverage that doesn’t suck. Plus, it doesn’t even cover my sucky deck, leaving me with no choice but to replace the deck so I may secure adequate coverage.

But the issue with replacing the deck is that it is attached to the house by a ledger, which is attached to the house’s siding, which also needs to be replaced. See where I’m going with this? In order to replace my deck, I have to replace my house’s siding, which means a total exterior remodel. And that means a hell of a lot of money. I know I could do it for cheap if I went with stucco over wood siding, but I refuse to skimp on my home.

After seeing what cheapness does to a house — courtesy of my home’s former owners who used masking tape to glue broken mirrors together — I have come to recognize that you, indeed, get what you pay for. This doesn’t mean I’ll be importing Italian marble for this remodel (which is tacky anyway), but it does mean I’ll be going with the highly durable and weather-resistant redwood over a cheaper wood for the deck.

Luckily, I already have design plans in place for the house, courtesy of my architect ex-boyfriend, who completed them before he was my ex. The plans are perfect and will do much to restore my little 1920s bungalow to its craftsman glory. I’m actually quite excited to see them executed despite also being scared about how a months-long full exterior remodel is going to impact my life.

The bright side is that I love my very reasonable, responsible and ethical contractor, who did all the interior work on my house before I moved in. He gets the vision for the house and is not a corner-cutter, always producing high-quality work, so I trust him without reservation.

But before he can hammer one nail into my house, I need to find a bag of money, preferably one with an endless bottom. And because those seedlings for the money tree I ordered off that Cracker Jack box never sprouted, I have to rely on banks and credit unions to help me out. Thus, I’m kicking off my Begging for Money tour across the Southland, effective immediately, which will find me cozying up to various bank tellers while trying to slip my hand in the cash drawer.

And then the full exterior remodel will begin, complete with pictures chronicling every step and misstep of the mayhem that is a massive home improvement project. Stay tuned and wish me luck.